I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
