When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
