My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
