apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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