Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
