He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
