Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
