And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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