I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
