I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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