Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
