im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
