Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
