D3 body, D1 cock
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
