So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
