Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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