D3 body, D1 cock
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
