Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
