Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
