i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
