watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
