Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
