But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
