If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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