Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
