Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
