Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
