I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
