Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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