idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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