hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize