i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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