the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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