How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
