You're my little dorito
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
