If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize