I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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