Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
