You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
