Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
