tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
