haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
