dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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