office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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