Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
