i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
