He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
