So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
