Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
