Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
