you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
